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Newspaper Archive of
N. Warren Town and County News
Norwalk, Iowa
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August 21, 2014     N. Warren Town and County News
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August 21, 2014
 

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Page Ten N/Warren Town and County News Thursday, August 21, 2014 Medicine for the Funny Bone By Dorothy .o by | iDorothy Rosby is a | syndicated columnist whoseI humor column appears in / i: newspapers in 11 WesternI . . . cleanlnUP,fdlly eq . and Midwestern states | pAAa:!!!ii~i~~~~JVr~elh~ ~~m~a~ll !ff~O~oa:!!~u~!~ed0~53m~5:~10onsS,~0%rlele coPNPsed p,ussevera, magazines.. She lives in Rapid City, SD! with her husband and son. ) job! LSlycord @ aol.com. Norwalk Food Pantry .................................. .................................. Avon Representative for announcements Norwalk/Lakewood. For Garage sales will not be products call Sandy accepted by email. They Brenizer, 515-238-6718 or must be paid for when the go to dynomaids@aol.com ad is placed. Deadline for or www.youravon.com/ classified ad and payment Sandra Brenizer. is noon Fridays. " ............................... ................................. Shop for Norwalk Warrior Norwalk Food Pantry, Io- Spiritwear online at cated at New Life Lutheran MyJJDesigns.com or call Church, 4380 Wakonda 953-6306. Dr., is open everyWednes- " ................................. day from 5 to 7 p.m. for Io- for rent cal residents. Norwalk 2 BR brick 4 plex, ................................... hardwood floors, heat, wa- employment ter, sewer, garbage paid. CDL-A Company Teams: 515-314-1551 or515-221- Start .55 cpm! $3,000 9300. Sign-On Bonus! $2,000 of it is PAID at Orientation! All MILES PAID! 1-866-204- 8006. Glen Morris Lawn Care, Fireplace Coveting Thy Neighbor's Sprinkler System Chimney Servicing Personalized Services, Free Estimates; Fully In- Annual servicing of your sured. Mowing, trimming, chimney system keeps edging, fertilizing, cleanup, , your family safe and your weed control, snow re- home in good repair. We moval. 515-208-4398. offer inspections, cleaning, mgmia@msn.com, repairs, product sales, re- .................................. lining, tuck-pointing and Seamstress can do alter- more. Call ations, work with lycra fab- Climbing Boys ric, sequins, beading and Chimney Cleaning custom costumes. Call Tim Mineart Lynne at 285-0604 or go to 689-9077 www.seamstressdeluxe .................................. .com. Patava Concrete .................................. Taking orders for tearouts, Downs Pest Control And patios, replacement, new Property Maintenance construction, driveways, Spiders, ants, wasps, garage slabs. FREE ESTI- roaches, bed bug treat- MATES. Call Matt Palen, ments, termite work. We 210-1284 or Tim Patava, also offer property mainte- 210-1285. services nance such as debris re ................................... Bob Lochmiller moval, mold testing, snow garage sales Computer Repair and lawn care, demo work 704 Lewis. Friday, Aug. 22, Specializing in laptops.Will and roofing. 515-309-2089, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. and Satur- build computers to your www.downspestcontrol day, Aug.23,8a.m.-noon. specs. Free estimates. .corn Lots of good stuff; pdced to 515-961-7513. .................................. sell. Treadmill, large dog .................................. Clean CutTree Service kennel, copier and flat bed Bring family images to the Removals, trimming, scanner. digital age. VHS (VCR), stump grinding, brush .................................. COUPON AND RECEIVE 2 FREE .................................. DESSERT ITEMS Linda Slycord ,--. , A . Independent Consultant (I-'le or ice ream) The Pampered Chef 1031 Sunset Dr. Get recipes and shop online Offer expires 12/31114 981-1031 24/7 at www.pamperedchef, rrr= rrrrrr COUPON News Media:Release- Non-pdcingCentors (no separate.charge formeals) " " ,. :,. " Nar~ofC/CFPIm=LC~m ' . ; " . '- : : CMdamlNlultCamFoodPmilmm ". "" : .: .- :.1 ; .. " :" . a[ RP ortr~Maml~ houmlmldl orWh0 am .Hpad ~id ~ m aukmtalic~. ~ .e~ io..nml~_ Iko= mmll~.~ d~d~dul=re cZ~W(s): : : for sale Kittens, shots and wormed, litter trained, home raised, good with children. $50. Call 285-0604. ................................... Want to clean faster, cheaper and safer?. I can help you get started with Norwex!! (microfiber and more!) Kim Ginkens, Norwex Independent Sales Consultant, 515-991-9821. tnome El~gibHity Guide.n~ f=rFme~ P.~m,=ed Pdcel~ab . --,~ - .. Eflr~tl~'7.~-~14tng~O-,~lS , . . :~_ ." ,;= Household Size Reduced Price Meals Free Meals:L- 1302 Main St. (Back Ga- rage). Friday, Aug. 22, 8 a.m.-4 p.m. and Saturday, Aug. 23, 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Household items, clothes, Precious Moments, golf clubs, hunting and fishing items, lots of misc. You come out of the house in the dawn's early light wearing only your jammies and sneakers. The birds are just beginning to chirp, but you don't enjoy the sounds; your neighbor's sprinkler system is chirping too. You also have a sprinkler system--100 feet of hose and a rotating, pulsating gizmo you bought at a garage sale. Now, where is it? Oh yes. It's still on the last spot you watered--where was that? WHEN was that? It's still hard to see, so you wander across your crunchy lawn peering into the dim light. (Are lawns supposed to crunch?) Finally you trip over the hose, pick yourself up and follow the hose to the sprinkler. On those rare occasions you remember to water your lawn, you wisely start on the driest spots. Unfortunately, the green ones dry up while you're trying to revive the brown ones. For you, lawn watering is endless triage. Of course, it's still too dark to tell which spots are near death, but realizing just how many of them there are lately, you figure it won't be hard to hit one wher- ever you plant the sprinkler. So you deride to start in front of the house. At least your yard will look good from the street--just not as good as old Mr. Sprinkler System's. You start dragging the hose across the yard, feeling like a draft horse, with the sprinkler system tickingaway in the background. You tell yourself your neighbor couldn't possibly have the upper body strength you have--or would have if you did this as often as you should. You and the hose make a wide swath on the lawn until--what's that? You've run out of hose? How can that be? Oh, see there. You'll have to backtrack around that cottonwood tree. Whoops. Did you just take the heads off those tiger lilies? Finally you pick a spot in the front yard, carefully place the sprinkler and run back to turn it on. And I'll be darned! You've set it up perfectly--for watering the doorstep and the driveway. You wait. You watch. Then you make a dash for the sprinkler at the precise moment it's spraying away from neighbor does and your water bill is probably lower too. Best of all, your dog prefers his lawn too. .s--tha the r. braces were constructed i uc :n;erre braces consisted of a fiat strip of metal con- nected to the teeth by I_/~l~i~' ./W"~ pieces of thread. Imatters 515"223"1150 i i P.O. I ! Norwalk, Iowa I I www.kwk .com 1 .................................. you. At least it was spraying aw y from you when you 417 Valencia Ct. (west on started running. North Ave., left onto Sy- You pick it up; wrestle it back an' lj orth in an attempt camore to end and left and to get more water on the lawn and Ies~bn the sidewalk-- ~,, another left at end of cul- and on you. From a distance, it lool e you're danc- , de-sac). Friday, Aug. 22, 9 ing with a wet wild cat, but finally seem to have it i a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday, lined up. And look at that--the BAli( of your pajamas Aug. 23, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Lots is still dry--mostly. :. of clothing, TV stands, bar At that moment, your neighbo~6pens his front doo~ \stools, chairs, misc. He sees you and hollers, "Nice PJs?,; ou curse him un- der your breath, head for the door- az d pray for rain. " i828 Swan Circle. Friday, And you ask yourself, "Why?" Why does: a green lawn ug. 22, 5-7 p.m. and Sat- -matter anyway? Why do we squander pre ous mois- - rday Aug. 23, 7-11 a.m. ture on such a vain, wasteful luxury?" Then yok let out dqn't want to miss this a little yelp as the sprinlder squanders precious mois- one!! I 0 ts of stuff for every- ture down your backside. one. NOTHING is marked- You go into the house to take a shower, which seems you m ge the price. ALL redundant. And standing there under the warm spray, PROCEEDS go to Hope you wonder why you ever chose to live next door to a Minist[ies. guy with a lawn that looks like a golf course. Look on .... :---: ......................... the bright side. You could never fully appreciate how much property you own if you never had to haul a hose across it. Plus you don't have to mow as often as your