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Newspaper Archive of
N. Warren Town and County News
Norwalk, Iowa
Lyft
September 19, 2019     N. Warren Town and County News
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September 19, 2019
 

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Thursday, September 19, 2019 N/Warren Town and County News Page Eleven The Bane of my By Dorothy Rosby I stepped on a charger. I'm not sure what it charges; it could be anything. Chargers and power cords have taken over my house like bindweed. But I'm afraid to get rid of any of them because I don't know what they're all for. Anyway, I stepped on one, and the phrase '%ane of my existence" popped into my head. That seemed a little dramatic for an electrical accessory that wasn't even plugged in. So I went to my smart friend Google who told me that before the 16th century, "bane of my existence" referred to something that could kill you. That would be dramatic. However, the phrase has been downgraded over the years, probably because of the invention of chargers and power cords, and today it refers to any constant irritant or source of misery. If that's what it means, I have a whole lot of banes of my existence. Don't get me started! Oh, too late. Here's one: Big buns. I mean sandwich buns. I think we can all agree that the burger should fit the bun. But at some burger joints, you buy your hamburger, take the top off, and find a little island of burger on an ocean of bun. Do they think we won't look? If they won't make the burgers bigger, they should make the buns smaller. Who wouldn't appreciate smaller buns? And another thing: Why do they put one pickle in the center of a hamburger? If you like pickles on your sandwich, one is not enough. If you don't like pickles, could I have yours? Sidewalk spitters, litterers, and people who dolft vote are not only banes, they're bums well, unless they wouldn't have voted like me if they did vote-- which they didn't. Then they're doing us all a favor. Spammers, scammers and identity thieves are banes of everyone's existence. For every technological advance in history--email, telephone, pony express-- there's been a group of 'q anes" standing ready to wreak havoc for their own personal gain. I wonder if they suffer from self-loathing, because they really should. And while I'm at it, here's who else I'm mad at: Retail clerks who don't acknowledge me until they're ready to wait on me. I don't know about you, but I can wait a lot longer if the clerk at least looks at me and says nicely, "I'll be right with you," even if he isn't. I'm annoyed by bumper stickers with print so tiny that you have to get really close to read it, and when you do, it says something like, "If you can read this, you're too close." And I'm bothered by that sign in some restaurant restrooms that says, "Employees must wash hands before returning to work." I think they should too, but it concerns me that they need to be reminded. Loud television commercials irritate me. Several years ago, congress passed a law prohibiting broadcasters from blasting TV commercials louder than programming. But I don't think they all got the message, maybe because their TVs were too loud. I realize advertising pays the bills and I know why broadcasters turn it up. Viewers head to the kitchen during commercials, but they don't take their hearing aids out every time. I loathe voice mail systems that make you listen to an advertisement for the business you're calling, a listing of their locations and hours, and a "thank you for calling; your business is important to us," before they launch into their lengthy menu of phone extensions. I'm not proud of this, but I get grumpier and grumpier, and by the time I finally reach the poor soul I'm calling, I'm probably the bane of her existence. Dorothy Rosby is a syndicated columnist and the author of several humor books, including I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better. Have a news item for the paper? Send it to us by email at news@norwalk newspaper.com Extra copies of the Norwalk paper can be purchased at Casey's, Kum & Go, Git-N- Go, and Fareway. Classified advertising is 25 cents a word with a $3.50 minimum and MUST be paid in advance of publication. Thank you ads of 30 words or less are $3.50 (plus 10 cents per additional word.) Bring ads to the office with payment, or drop ads and payment in our door slot after hours. You may also email ads and drop payment at the office, as long as we receive payment before publication. We reserve the right to accept or refuse any or all advertising. Publisher reserves the right tO cancel any advertisement at any time. Call 515-981-0405 or email news@norwalknewspaper.com with questions. Deadline is noon on Friday. For Sale Services Services Services 716 Sunset Drive (Hwy Iorwalk Seasonal Clean Cut Tree Service 28 South): Brick Duplex, Services Removals, trimming, remodeling front. 1100Sq Lavn care, snow removal, stump grinding, brush Ft, 2BR, 1 bath. Back unit irri ation, Landscaping cleanup, fully equipped rented. Live in front, rent desgn, installation, and and insured. Free consul- out back. mantenance. Call 515- tations, 515-557-0269. 1400 Sunset Drive (Hwy 40 -2364. 28 North): 1200 Sq Ft, - building now operating restaurant, operator will PatavaConcrete Hate cleaning? Love sell newer equipment if cleaning? Norwex is the buyer wants it. Your Takngordersfortearouts, answer! Save youtime, $, opportunity to start your patDs, replacement, new and risk of chemicals! Kim own restaurant, corstruction, driveways, Ginkens, Norwex Ind. Call Larry Hughes, 515- gaage slabs. FREE Consultant, 515-991-9821, 681-6310. Black Gold ES'IMATES. Call Matt KimGinkens.norwex.biz. Realty Pain, 210-1284 Turnbull's Tree Service Topping, Trimming, Tree and Stump Removal, Brush Clean-Up, Land Clearing. Free Estimates; Fully Insured. Kevin Turnbull 515-282-7739 Help Wanted Farm help: Truck driver needed for harvesting in Norwalk area. Flexible hours, can be full or part time, perfect for retired person. Combine, general help; large equipment experience helpful. Lun- ches provided. Call 515- 778-0045. qorwalk Easter Public Library louts of Operation Monday - Thursday 10 a.m. - 8p.m. Friday, 11 a.m. - 6p.m. Saturday, I0 a.m. - 5p.m. Sunday, 1- 4p.m. "1051 North Avenue Tm ! I I I I I I I I I I I I I IIIll IIIIIIB m IIBI m m m m m IIBIII IIIIJ IBII I I and County: I I I I For Residents of Warren & Polk Counties | ! One Year $20.00 | I Senior Citizens | (65 years or older) $17.00 | I SUBSCRIPTION FORM I Residents Outside of Warrei I & Polk Counties add $6.00 I I I I I I I I I I ,New I I I Name I I Address I I I I I I Renewal Cancel Mail or drop off to: I N/Warren Town and County News I I 1122 Main Street, Suite 1 I I P.O. Box I I Norwalk, IA 50211 I I I It's easy to advertise in the N/Warren Town and County News classifieds. Use the form below to compose your ad, and mail or dropit by our office before 12:00 p.m. on Fridays. Use an envelope and our door slot after business hours. To keep costs down, classified ads must be paid for in advance. Classified ads are 25 per word with a $3.50 minimum. Simply count your words (phone number = 1 word) and multiply by 25 . Thank you ads of 30 words or less are $3.50, with 10 for each additional word. Classified ads must be paid in full before they will run. PLEASE PRINT CLEARLY PLEASE INCLUDE PAYMENT Name Address Phone We reserve the right to accept or refuse all adver ising. Publisher reserves the right to cancel an advertisement at any lime.